Survival of the Ginnest Read online

  Dottie Harris was going to leave mopping the floor until tomorrow, then she noticed a small child licking it.

  March 3, 2009 at 14:45

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has chocolate eater’s remorse.

  March 4, 2009 at 14:55

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is not broody! Nope. Not at all.

  March 5, 2009 at 22:08

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering why you always think that “one last gin” when you get home is a good idea?

  March 6, 2009 at 8:48

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is not happy that she's getting close to her birthday.

  March 7, 2009 at 20:01

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is one year older. Yay.

  March 11, 2009 at 20:01

  23 people like this

  Dottie Harris is a bit chilly, but loving the fact everything in the garden is starting to bud up!

  March 19, 2009 at 15:26

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris was going to have a bath and a glass of wine later, but the new NEXT catalogue is now here so that takes priority.

  March 19, 2009 at 17:22

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks her son is very clever for making her breakfast in bed this morning!

  March 22, 2009 at 19:08

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is trying to explain to her son that 6am is not the new black.

  March 24, 2009 at 7:55

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking her fake tan may not have gone exactly to plan.

  March 24, 2009 at 20:20

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is ready for the gym. Size 0 here she comes!

  March 29, 2009 at 8:44

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks she’ll pass on the gym today.

  March 30, 2009 at 9:50

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is a changed person - there is rice cake ground into the carpet and she almost doesn’t care. ALMOST.

  March 31, 2009 at 13:53

  8 people like this

  Dottie Harris is happy in the sunshine, front path weeded, windows open, now to fix the front door seal that the boy managed to pull out!

  April 1, 2009 at 9:36

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris ran to the gym, worked out, ran back, and is now deciding which rock to die under.

  April 4, 2009 at 9:51

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks her legs might fall off.

  April 4, 2009 at 19:11

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks she may love her new Dustbuster more than diamonds.

  April 5, 2009 at 17:32

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris cannot believe there is no wine in the house at all. Oh well - gin it is!

  April 11, 2009 at 17:55

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has been pretending to be the Flake girl. But with a Creme Egg. And not flooding the bathroom. After all, that would be a mess to clear up.

  April 12, 2009 at 19:26

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris feels she may be a rather horrid person for putting cat food on the sprinkler then turning it on.

  April 14, 2009 at 10:03

  8 people like this

  Dottie Harris has done a very Monica-esque thing and hoovered her Dustbuster and Dustbusted her hoover.

  April 14, 2009 at 14:50

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is loving the fact that her baby says “Mama" and then gives her a kiss and doesn't believe it's just a coincidence AT ALL. Ok?

  April 29, 2009 at 17:15

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking the Special K diet isn't going well. She's not had any this week.

  May 1, 2009 at 18:12

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks her son hunts out danger.

  May 2, 2009 at 17:18

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is concerned - she may have to wash up the pots in her dishwasher if the third time she sets it going it doesn't work!!

  May 3, 2009 at 7:59

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is not thinking about the smiley faces in the freezer.

  May 5, 2009 at 9:51

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris doesn't need to worry about the smiley faces in the freezer as they are no longer there.

  May 5, 2009 at 18:49

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is waiting to see what The Monster thinks is more dangerous: the door stop or the stairgate?!

  May 6, 2009 at 10:53

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wishing she'd not put her skinny jeans in the tumble dryer.

  May 7, 2009 at 8:09

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is wondering if there will ever be a day again where her washing machine isn't going?!

  May 7, 2009 at 14:01

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is slightly more excited than she should be about using her new plates tonight.

  May 12, 2009 at 18:26

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris appears to be struggling more with the baby-proofed cupboards than The Monster does.

  May 16, 2009 at 18:19

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has just had a mass bikini trying on session and is pleased to say she may be allowed to eat before she goes away!

  May 17, 2009 at 19:06

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris has jam in her hair, and small child sick on her Smeg fridge :( It's a glam life.

  May 20, 2009 at 16:03

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris wants to know how her son knows how to change the brightness on the TV but she doesn’t.

  May 20, 2009 at 16:13

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is looking forward to picking up The Monster’s new car seat after he escaped from his current one on the way home from town yesterday.

  May 23, 2009 at 6:35

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is going to make Sangria.

  May 23, 2009 at 11:31

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks she may have drunk the entire world’s supply of alcohol last night.

  May 24, 2009 at 6:29

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders why she was stupid enough to think that emptying the cupboards of naughty things would stop her from being hungry, instead she is STARVING to DEATH.

  May 26, 2009 at 13:58

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris can't do it! She just can't pack light!

  May 27, 2009 at 11:47

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is baffled. Why do The Apprentice contestants ALWAYS leave their ironing until they only have half an hour before the cars get there?!

  May 27, 2009 at 20:23

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks that 15kg of luggage per person is ridiculous.

  May 29, 2009 at 9:49

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is switching off from reality … now!

  May 30, 2009 at 4:55

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is back in the blinkin' UK.

  June 6, 2009 at 19:00

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is trying to ignore the fact that each room in her house seems to have exploded into a big pile of tidying up.

  June 9, 2009 at 11:05

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris wishes she could find the jelly that The Monster threw across the room during a tantrum at teatime :(

  June 10, 2009 at 17:12

&nbs
p; 9 people like this

  Dottie Harris can't believe Zac Morris is back!

  June 10, 2009 at 20:25

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very proud that both she and The Monster made it through his first morning at nursery unscathed!

  June 16, 2009 at 17:27

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering if she can trade her son in for an Alfa Romeo Mito in black?

  June 17, 2009 at 17:09

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is mega excited to see the results of the carpet cleaner she's just put on in the lounge!

  June 18, 2009 at 13:35

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris doesn't think the carpet cleaner worked. She also can’t quite believe she used the phrase “mega excited”.

  June 18, 2009 at 16:18

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks there should be a Drive-thru Starbucks.

  June 23, 2009 at 7:36

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is watching The Monster eat the hose pipe. Would it be wrong to turn it on?

  June 24, 2009 at 13:09

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks it's time for another cup of tea!

  June 25, 2009 at 8:06

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is missing her boy more than she thought she would!

  June 25, 2009 at 11:18

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris feels a bit thick. She just fell off her chair. Thank God nobody else was here to see!

  June 25, 2009 at 16:08

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is excited as she has a bottle of pink gin on the counter waiting for tonight!

  June 26, 2009 at 15:46

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is attempting to make a homemade iced coffee

  June 30, 2009 at 8:59

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris failed with the iced coffee so is hitting the (pink) gin instead x

  June 30, 2009 at 18:10

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks the child on the Glade Touch’n Fresh advert makes her more angry than a child should!

  July 6, 2009 at 15:07

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering why the young lads in JLS (yes young) insist on touching their "area" in their new music video. Kids today!

  July 7, 2009 at 7:33

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks that the baby food diet that all the stars are on about doesn't necessarily mean finishing off fishcake, mash and beans.

  July 8, 2009 at 11:51

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering if it's worth gluing the blind shut so The Monster stops opening it at nap time.

  July 9, 2009 at 9:59

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is feeling quite holy. Instead of throwing herself at the mercy of Pizza Hut as she walked past it, she settled for a Caramel Light Frappachino from Starbucks.

  July 12, 2009 at 12:49

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is looking forward to The Monster being in bed so she can indulge in a pink gin and some trashy television :-)

  July 12, 2009 at 17:45

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris loves Tim Gunn.

  July 13, 2009 at 11:03

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering why she bothers mopping the floor when she has a husband and son.

  July 15, 2009 at 12:44

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks drinking during the day may be the only way to go.

  July 15, 2009 at 15:55

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is slightly concerned that the scales are going in the wrong direction.

  July 18, 2009 at 7:59

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has tried to hide the ironing behind the chair in the lounge. It doesn’t bode well that the pile is poking out of the top.

  July 19, 2009 at 9:25

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks that the narrator from In The Night Garden is just out to cause trouble!

  July 19, 2009 at 17:09

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is getting ready to go SHOPPING!

  July 20, 2009 at 9:39

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders if she went to sleep in July and woke up in October?! SO COLD!

  July 21, 2009 at 18:33

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has just caught her son about to fish breadsticks out of the bin! Thank goodness he didn’t get to eat them!

  July 22, 2009 at 16:11

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is opening the wine.

  July 22, 2009 at 19:13

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is tackling a mound of clothes. She WILL have a capsule wardrobe!

  July 23, 2009 at 14:12

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is covered in amoxicillin, baby snot, and baby phlegm :(

  July 24, 2009 at 17:38

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking she shouldn't have cut tea out of her diet this weekend.

  July 25, 2009 at 9:17

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is enjoying the freedom of having all of the stairgates open!

  July 28, 2009 at 7:29

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is no longer enjoying her son’s game of crawling up to her and yanking her jeans down!

  July 28, 2009 at 16:48

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is having a test run with The Monster's birthday cake. She is now sitting and watching her oven for 23 minutes.

  July 30, 2009 at 15:09

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks that it's not gone well.

  July 30, 2009 at 16:09

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is dusting off her big wine glass, which means TECHNICALLY she is only having one glass of red.

  August 1, 2009 at 18:26

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is witnessing a mega tantrum all because she wouldn't let her son steal her pen.

  August 3, 2009 at 17:25

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is cleaning before the potential cleaner shows up.

  August 4, 2009 at 8:46

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking now would be a good time to instil “it's the thought that counts” in her son. That or pop to M&S to buy a cake and lie about it.

  August 5, 2009 at 17:42

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has a one year old! Happy 1st birthday to my boy! x

  August 7, 2009 at 7:26

  26 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks she may have over celebrated at The Monster's birthday party and is now paying the price :(

  August 9, 2009 at 6:37

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just had to give all of her quiche to her son. How many times: Dottie DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

  August 10, 2009 at 12:36

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks her son is on a fine line!

  August 10, 2009 at 17:14

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has overslept. Never rely on child as alarm clock!

  August 11, 2009 at 7:33

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris really wishes she hadn't eaten so many Oreos today.

  August 11, 2009 at 14:56

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is ready for a gin and tonic and a hot bath!

  August 12, 2009 at 16:58

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has another Monster free day, and is looking forw
ard to visiting NEXT without the risk of chocolate milk being flicked at the clothes.