Survival of the Ginnest Read online

  First Published in the UK in 2013

  SMASHWORDS EDITION

  Copyright © 2013 Aimee Horton

  Whilst this novella is fictional, some of the content has been based on real life events.

  This book remains the copyrighted property of the author and may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed for any commercial or non-commercial use without permission from the author. Quotes used in reviews are the exception. No alteration of content is allowed. If you enjoyed this book, then encourage your friends to download their own free copy.

  Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated.

  To the three men in my life - the reasons I love gin quite so much.

  x

  Introduction

  Meet Dottie Harris. Dottie spent her late twenties working her way up the career ladder as a Project Manager. As “one of the boys” Dottie worked hard at the office, and played hard out of it.

  Whether it was in the pub after work, sun drenched holidays, high heels, or even just movie days with her husband in their immaculately clean house, she lived the self-indulgent life of every childless couple.

  Then, when she hit thirty her clock ticked and she and her husband decided it was time to start a family.

  In this modern day diary, Dottie discovers that as soon as she announces her pregnancy her life as she knows it instantly changes. No more drinking games with the boys, no more energy for the gym and no attention span for the television. She struggles through the issues of pregnancy, initially turning to social networking to build a new social life, then after giving birth she quickly begins to rely on it - along with Gin - as a way to reach out and remind herself of the funny side of the frustrations of motherhood, along with a way of realising that she’s not the only person who now considers anything after 7am to be a lie in.

  Follow her journey as her children grow older, and she gets less enthusiastic.

  2007

  Dottie Harris HAS REGISTERED AND IS HERE TO JOIN IN THE FUN! DO YOU KNOW Dottie? WHY NOT ADD HER TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST.

  November 11, 2007 at 21:15

  67 PEOPLE HAVE ADDED Dottie TO THEIR FRIENDS LIST

  Dottie Harris is wondering what all this is about then?

  November 11, 2007 at 21:27

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is back to the grind

  November 12, 2007 at 7:58

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Was it 7pm or 8pm tonight guys?

  November 12, 2007 at 16:09

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris can’t wait for a well earned drink with the team!

  November 16, 2007 at 17:25

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking mmmm chips and cheese

  November 17, 2007 at 2:59

  19 people like this

  Dottie Harris is hanging.

  November 17, 2007 at 11:23

  13 people like this

  Dottie Harris has a feeling she’s going to be home LATE

  November 20, 2007 at 16:41

  16 people like this

  Dottie Harris - tonight? What’s the plan?!

  November 23, 2007 at 16:46

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris enjoyed Lola’s birthday drinks - Happy 31st OLD LADY! xxx

  November 23, 2007 at 23:46

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris - LOST-athon with nachos and Malteasers and wine.

  November 25, 2007 at 14:33

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is sneaking in a naughty two weeks in Mexico before Christmas - see you on the other side!

  December 3, 2007 at 3:27

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is driving back from the airport (as a passenger) feeling full and fat and is now checking her e-mail after not moving from her sun lounger for two weeks.

  December 18, 2007 at 23:48

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is back in the office with mince pies and her to-do list.

  December 19, 2007 at 8:39

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is six mince pies down and they haven’t even touched the side - post holiday blues?!

  December 19, 2007 at 11:57

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris totally hasn’t just been out in her lunch hour and bought her Christmas Party dress!

  December 20, 2007 at 13:50

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is in the taxi heading home - light weight :(

  December 21, 2007 at 23:55

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris does NOT feel good.

  December 22, 2007 at 11:37

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris can’t make tonight - sorry guys - stomach bug!

  December 24, 2007 at 18:22

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris - Merry blooming Christmas from my toilet bowl!

  December 25, 2007 at 7:11

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris can’t believe she’s been ill all over Christmas (literally!)

  December 26, 2007 at 7:42

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Another sofa day

  December 27, 2007 at 9:23

  13 people like this

  Dottie Harris is feeling a bit better - Coco Pops seem to have settled stomach

  December 28, 2007 at 22:51

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is ready for action! Party at ours TOMORROW - REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF!

  December 30, 2007 at 22:43

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

  December 31, 2007 at 23:58

  1 person likes this

  2008

  Dottie Harris is too tired to be back at work.

  January 2, 2008 at 8:31

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has come home sick AGAIN :(

  January 4, 2008 at 8:31

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is pregnant - baby Harris due in JULY!!!

  January 11, 2008 at 11:51

  18 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks that whoever called it MORNING sickness is a BIG FAT LIAR.

  January 11, 2008 at 16:34

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is brr!

  January 20, 2008 at 10:06

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris heading home from the pub to her bed leaving everyone at the pub - banging head :(

  January 20, 2008 at 21:13

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is in denial.

  January 21, 2008 at 11:34

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is really not up for a night out tonight guys - sorry next time I PROMISE x

  January 25, 2008 at 15:12

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is always hungry!

  February 12, 2008 at 11:54

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is already unable to do up her work trousers.

  February 15, 2008 at 7:23

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders if 2 bumps are normal?!

  February 16, 2008 at 9:16

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris hearts Yorkshire Puddings

  February 17, 2008 at 17:37

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris would really like to get a proper bump already, rather then just looking like she’s eaten all the pie.

  February 19, 2008 at 19:31

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is willing her belly but
ton to pop!

  February 23, 2008 at 12:20

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks her shoes may hate her feet.

  February 27, 2008 at 18:47

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is watching three men try to put together a sofa. It’s not going well.

  March 1, 2008 at 17:19

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris wonders how she will manage in the summer if she's this tired now!

  March 6, 2008 at 18:45

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris wants brownies.

  March 7, 2008 at 21:06

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks that brownies weren’t really all that after all.

  March 8, 2008 at 9:01

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is trawling through over THREE THOUSAND* e-mails. All from the weekend!

  *This may be an exaggeration

  March 10, 2008 at 7:36

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris wants her birthday present now!!

  March 11, 2008 at 9:32

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris loves her birthday present!

  March 11, 2008 at 22:21

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is grateful for the slow sips of Orange Tango which allowed her not to throw up on her boss during the longest 30 minute meeting in the WORLD.

  March 12, 2008 at 15:12

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks that the dinner gods are against her. Only Coco Pops appeal and she has none of those in :(

  March 14, 2008 at 20:44

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has got that Friday feeling - without the wine tho :(

  March 15, 2008 at 18:40

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has replaced the wine with a bottle of orange Tango and box of Malteasers.

  March 15, 2008 at 20:03

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders what happened to the whole “eating for two” malarky, she can’t manage a thing!

  March 19, 2008 at 23:31

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris - McDonalds breakfast followed by Skittles - perfect.

  March 20, 2008 at 9:04

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks veto is beginning to sound like a good name.

  March 22, 2008 at 19:03

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is building up to THE scan and hoping she doesn’t have to keep going out to “empty her bladder just a little bit” this time. Never has she felt more likely to wet herself.

  March 28, 2008 at 08:31

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is having a boy!

  March 28, 2008 at 15:31

  21 people like this

  Dottie Harris can't bend.

  April 8, 2008 at 15:20

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Seriously, I still don’t have a proper hard bump and I can’t bend, is this normal?

  April 9, 2008 at 11:12

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris has approximately 4 months to find a way to have a baby that doesn't involve giving birth.

  April 13, 2008 at 18:06

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just turned on her out of office and is now in holiday mode!

  April 19, 2008 at 19:58

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is on her way to work :(

  April 29, 2008 at 6:36

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks a bowl of Coco Pops would go down a treat right now.

  May 4, 2008 at 3:24

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris can’t believe that Skittles don’t come as part of your Bounty Pack.

  May 5, 2008 at 9:34

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is gutted that they've got rid of the official Gladiators theme tune.

  May 11, 2008 at 19:42

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris can’t believe her baby is already the size of A HEAD OF CAULIFLOWER?! I MEAN! COMEEE ONNN!!! *Freaking out*

  May 25, 2008 at 11:03

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris loves it when people make a loss on Property Ladder.

  May 28, 2008 at 21:29

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very happy it's Friday night, she’s EXHAUSTED.

  May 30, 2008 at 20:12

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just been told that the first baby poo is black: That’s not true is it?

  June 5, 2008 at 10:03

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris has been to an antenatal class and wishes she could erase the images of THAT video.

  June 10, 2008 at 20:22

  8 people like this

  Dottie Harris has now ordered her pram :D

  June 10, 2008 at 19:34

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is so so tired

  June 12, 2008 at 7:35

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is fed up of being fat.

  June 14, 2008 at 13:57

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 24 working days left.

  June 15, 2008 at 14:11

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 23.5 working days left.

  June 16, 2008 at 12:46

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 23 working days left.

  June 16, 2008 at 17:17

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 22.5 working days left.

  June 17, 2008 at 10:57

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 22 working days left.

  June 17, 2008 at 16:26

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has 20 working days left.

  June 19, 2008 at 19:20

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks Gaviscon is the future.

  June 21, 2008 at 17:53

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 19.5 working days left.

  June 23, 2008 at 11:14

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 19 working days left!

  June 23, 2008 at 17:28

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris has 18 working days left. Suddenly that's not enough!!

  June 24, 2008 at 18:34

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just held a newborn vest over her bump. There is NO WAY that is coming out of her.

  June 26, 2008 at 7:32

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks swollen fingers are the new black.

  June 30, 2008 at 7:32

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is hot and grumpo

  July 1, 2008 at 16:40

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is a “lady wot lunches”.

  July 4, 2008 at 18:21

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has put the book describing giving birth in the freezer.

  July 8, 2008 at 23:47

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is a cleaning machine, a slightly slow and broken cleaning machine!

  July 9, 2008 at 8:27

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is fat.

  July 12, 2008 at 12:39

  1 person likes this