Survival of the Ginnest Read online

  May 5, 2010 at 4:33

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is back in dreary old Britain.

  May 22, 2010 at 12:12

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris loves the smell of fresh washing but hates the idea she might have to iron it. Hmm, to call the ironing lady this week maybe?

  May 23, 2010 at 8:56

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris loved the smell of washing before the washing line collapsed over freshly mown grass.

  May 23, 2010 at 8:58

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is enjoying a very lemonady Rosé spritzer-it's just the same as the real thing, honest!

  May 23, 2010 at 16:10

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is achey and grumpy.

  May 23, 2010 at 19:22

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is back at work, but has no laptop so is enjoying drinking apple juice and writing lists.

  May 24, 2010 at 7:47

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks Jenni Powell is VERY annoying.

  May 25, 2010 at 20:14

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is really wishing the woman opposite her on the train wasn't eating Burger King and is also wondering if she could steal it.

  May 26, 2010 at 15:37

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is exhausted after working 3 whole days in a row!

  May 26, 2010 at 19:33

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is super proud of The Monster for spending the entire night in a big boy bed!

  May 29, 2010 at 7:13

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks it's time to get a loud child to jump on his father so that they can all finallllly have breakfast!

  May 30, 2010 at 7:49

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has the house to herself and is enjoying the chance to clean, tidy, iron and arrange things on shelves.

  May 31, 2010 at 10:17

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is pleased that Simon Cowell just thanked her personally on the BAFTAs *cough*.

  June 6, 2010 at 19:49

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris feels a distinct lack of privacy when from the other side of a closed door she gets applauded for doing a "wiwi".

  June 10, 2010 at 8:00

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris has learnt the hard way not to fall asleep at The Monster's nap time letting him sleep for longer than allocated. He's still not asleep yet.

  June 10, 2010 at 20:30

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is looking forward to a time when she can go to the toilet without having to wear a colander on her head.

  June 13, 2010 at 10:15

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris appears to have brought the devil child back from B&Q.

  June 13, 2010 at 15:59

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is taking bets on whether it’s a pink or a blue baby?!

  June 15, 2010 at 7:35

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is finally going to have a partner in crime. 80% chance of it being a girl!

  June 15, 2010 at 11:56

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is making a list of girls’ names.

  June 15, 2010 at 13:05

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris supposes she better wake The Monster up from his nap. Hmph :(

  June 16, 2010 at 13:30

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is watching She's All That in bed with a peach squash. What has she become :(

  June 16, 2010 at 21:31

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is watching Elmo being fed Nutella on toast. Messy.

  June 20, 2010 at 6:56

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris can't believe her son is having a tantrum because he can't wear HER new shoes.

  June 20, 2010 at 9:18

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris hates the A1, hates lorry drivers with their shirts off who think they can beep at you and shout smutty things, hates Chrysler drivers and is generally in a vile hating everyone sort of mood.

  June 22, 2010 at 17:59

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris would like to thank Cbeebies for allowing her to fake tan. Let's hope it doesn’t streak!

  June 25, 2010 at 7:51

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris can't quite believe she just sung and did the actions to the “Grand Old Duke of York”, “If You're Happy and You Know It” and “Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes” whilst in the queue at the supermarket. What little credibility she had is now firmly out of the window.

  June 26, 2010 at 12:56

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks maybe she should start ironing rather than just buying The Monster new clothes.

  June 27, 2010 at 13:36

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks she's missing the point of party sized chocolate bars. She's not just having one small treat, she's having one of each.

  June 29, 2010 at 20:16

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks it must nearly be October now, she’s fit to burst already.

  July 4, 2010 at 12:47

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has rebelled. Ironing back in utility room, lemon drizzle cake in oven, child in bed, milkshake being sipped. Now is it wrong she’s chosen to watch American trash rather then grown up programmes?

  July 8, 2010 at 12:36

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering how it's a punishment when, on asking naughty child if they want to go to bed, they respond with "Yes".

  July 9, 2010 at 16:13

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris loves her husband but does not love the fact that apparently she looks like a satsuma.

  July 11, 2010 at 19:01

  14 people like this

  Dottie Harris has put her new orange top in the bin.

  July 11, 2010 at 19:39

  21 people like this

  Dottie Harris has had a long day, and now for the first time since she moved The Monster into a bed is having to do the 5 minute rule while he sobs. Blergh.

  July 12, 2010 at 22:39

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris must not eat two large bars of Daim Milka.

  July 13, 2010 at 13:42

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is lying on the sofa moaning about the pains in her bump and back.

  July 13, 2010 at 19:56

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is banning any more toys or stuffed animals from entering her house. There is honestly not enough room for anything else. *Dies in heap of half finished toddler’s bedroom.

  July 17, 2010 at 17:31

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris wants a baby.

  July 20, 2010 at 14:04

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris has a mini banana and pecan breakfast loaf while she waits for the train. She thinks she’s feeling better!

  July 21, 2010 at 7:13

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris - 100 days. Eep.

  July 21, 2010 at 17:06

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is buying shares in Gaviscon.

  July 21, 2010 at 21:25

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is teaching her son all about classic Britney.

  July 23, 2010 at 16:18

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has put The Monster to bed in his big boy room and isn't sure how the night will go.

  July 23, 2010 at 19:17

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks the big boy room is a hit. HE IS
STILL ASLEEP! So why has she been awake all night checking if he’s been breathing?

  July 24, 2010 at 8:11

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris has a Mars ice cream in the freezer but can't decide when to eat it.

  July 25, 2010 at 16:47

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is loving the fact that on checking on The Monster, he was asleep on his sofa instead of his bed.

  July 27, 2010 at 20:17

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering if 12 outfits for 4 days is excessive?

  July 29, 2010 at 18:40

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is going to Budapest baybayyyy!

  July 30, 2010 at 6:52

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is back in the UK, but it's not so bad because there is a small Monster waiting at home! X

  August 2, 2010 at 13:33

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris and The Monster are chilling whilst watching Project Runway.

  August 4, 2010 at 15:07

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks her vile mood is starting to calm down. She could really do with a bottle of gin or 10 though!

  August 4, 2010 at 19:38

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has spent the day baking cupcakes and building JCB diggers. The cakes were somewhat more successful than the diggers.

  August 6, 2010 at 18:21

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wishing her very special boy a Happy 2nd Birthday! Now pass me some bright red cakes.

  August 7, 2010 at 7:11

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very pleased The Monster's first day in the big class at nursery went very well!

  August 9, 2010 at 19:02

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris just needs to confirm something before it's too late: When she goes to collect the new baby from hospital that's when they take away the horrible first one right?!

  August 13, 2010 at 7:46

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering how she is expected to shower/dress etc. in 20 minutes when her husband has only just got out of the shower after 25 minutes!

  August 15, 2010 at 8:17

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is thinking stupid cold train platform. Stupid cold England. Must check what leave is left so maternity leave can start NOW.

  August 16, 2010 at 7:20

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris hates not being able to bend in the middle.

  August 16, 2010 at 19:49

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris really needs to stop thinking about buying stuff for the baby and actually start buying it before it's too late!

  August 17, 2010 at 19:28

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is trying to work it out. If you have two kids and you’re in the car park, do you put the toddler in the car first before it runs away or put the baby in the car first so it doesn’t get stolen? *Freaking out*

  August 18, 2010 at 6:28

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks if her husband continues to come up with stupid baby names she will just name the baby Tinkerbell Trixy Rapunzel and be done with it.

  August 18, 2010 at 18:44

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is looking forward to maternity leave and giving the house a GOOD CLEAN. Or at least a wipe down before lying on the sofa doing nothing!

  August 21, 2010 at 7:37

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is counting down the hours, minutes, seconds.

  August 23, 2010 at 9:12

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is sitting on the sofa in PJs, with a cup of tea, GMTV and 5 mins quiet before she decides what to do with her first work and Monster free morning off! Damn not being allowed gin!

  August 25, 2010 at 7:27

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks if any more of those bloody seeds fly into her house over her cleaned/hoovered floors she's going to go and vacuum the entire park.

  August 25, 2010 at 20:47

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has had a huge supermarket delivery today but the only thing that the baby really fancies is pizza.

  August 26, 2010 at 17:38

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris - it's the weekend jump up it's time to have some funnnn!!! (Who got the CBeebies reference there?)

  August 27, 2010 at 7:06

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris isn't having fish fingers and chips with lots of salt and a small glass of wine for dinner. Nope. She's obviously having lots of green veg and water. Honest.

  September 1, 2010 at 18:50

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is happy to announce the drugs the doctor gave her are amazing and she slept like a fat pregnant woman not an elephant in pain!

  September 3, 2010 at 7:43

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks her son should be very grateful that his daddy is home as the line he's been walking on all day is very fine.

  September 3, 2010 at 17:32

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is perhaps more proud then she should be about The Monster saying "loser" with the L on his forehead, and the Friends fist together, flappy arms action.

  September 4, 2010 at 13:02

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris has sent the boys off to nursery/work, showered, dried her hair, made beds - however the thought of getting dressed and cleaning all 3 floors seems like too much hard work. Maybe testing out the freshly made bed is an option?

  September 7, 2010 at 8:05

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has spent half the day "nesting" yet feels that nothing other than more mess has been created?!

  September 7, 2010 at 12:34

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris may or may not have been stuck in the tupperware cupboard for 40 minutes this afternoon.

  September 7, 2010 at 16:55

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking: If you were a set of cot bed sheets, where would you be?

  September 8, 2010 at 12:34

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is officially too fat for the slides at the soft play. She just got stuck.

  September 8, 2010 at 14:42

  15 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks her dates are wrong. Surely she can't continue to be such a fatty for much longer?

  September 9, 2010 at 11:03

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is at toddler football with a hot chocolate thinking this is her Saturday mornings for the next 16 years (unless he makes the England team before then, is that possible? Not a clue how these things work!).

  September 11, 2010 at 8:52

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is not loving The Monster and his new found freedom now he can open his bedroom door.

  September 12, 2010 at 18:58

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is still not loving it.

  September 12, 2010 at 20:03

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking it may be a looooonnnnnggggg day.

  September 13, 2010 at 7:30

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has lost the will to clean :(

  September 13, 2010 at 12:08