Survival of the Ginnest Read online

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks that The Chubster could have made the effort and stayed asleep through her dinner to make up for the “impromptu bath in Costa's sink due to poo” debacle earlier.

  March 12, 2011 at 17:38

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking thank God it's only 5 more minutes until she opens the bar! It's been a long, poo- and tantrum-filled day.

  March 12, 2011 at 18:56

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris isn't abusing the Calpol recommendations to try and enhance sleep. Honest!

  March 12, 2011 at 23:34

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is putting the kids to bed early.

  March 13, 2011 at 18:29

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has gin and isn't afraid to use (drink) it.

  March 13, 2011 at 19:39

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris was going to keep the bar shut tonight, however a glass of red may help her speed e-mail!

  March 14, 2011 at 19:52

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has caught the family cold but refuses to moan about it to prove a point.

  March 15, 2011 at 20:08

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris really wishes the scales wouldn't say ERROR every time she stands on them.

  March 19, 2011 at 10:48

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris doesn't think she achieved much today.

  March 21, 2011 at 19:44

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris hates that feeling when you find damp pants on a toddler, but have no idea where the puddle to go with it is.

  March 22, 2011 at 18:05

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is putting out a warning: She's a wee bit grumpy today. BUT NOBODY MENTION WEE.

  March 23, 2011 at 8:43

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is pleased that tonight’s holiday packing is sponsored by gin and chips.

  March 23, 2011 at 20:13

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just been to the bakery, and wonders if she could have her self-respect returned, please?

  March 24, 2011 at 13:43

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris wants to thank Ryanair for their superb suggestion that the 2 year old sits about five seats away from each of his parents "so they can redistribute the weight of the plane". Practical.

  April 2, 2011 at 15:34

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris may be carrying a little holiday weight.

  April 2, 2011 at 20:26

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is still recovering from the poo which landed on her foot earlier. Slippers are now in the bin, new ones on order.

  April 3, 2011 at 17:03

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is having something healthy for dinner when she really wants Yorkshire pudding. Stupid bread and oil obsession on holiday.

  April 3, 2011 at 18:07

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is pleased that when she went to the supermarket she wrapped the bag of frozen peas around the bottle of Rosé, giving it a head start on chilling.

  April 4, 2011 at 21:21

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris must remember that she loves her children - even if she has been awake for an hour and a half.

  April 5, 2011 at 5:48

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks it's a poor show that for the second night in a row the bar is going to open late.

  April 5, 2011 at 19:17

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has opened the bar a whole hour and 10mins late. Bad times.

  April 5, 2011 at 20:10

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Day 4 of the bar being opened late. Bad times.

  April 6, 2011 at 19:18

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris wonders what excuse she can come up with to justify that necklace she’s just ordered online. She’s sure it's the cat’s birthday soon.

  April 7, 2011 at 19:09

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is questioning her decision to have children.

  April 9, 2011 at 5:49

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is the next celebrity chef, she just KNOWS it.

  April 10, 2011 at 19:12

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris Pox x 1 + Teething x 1 = super tired Mummy

  April 12, 2011 at 5:41

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris - To those of you who know me well, what's your initial response when you hear I will be doing racing driving experiences including a fast car, a rally, and reverse steer blind fold driving? To those who don’t, I can’t even reverse into a space. EXACTLY.

  April 12, 2011 at 10:43

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris can confirm that no amount of make up can make a puffy, pus-filled eye look good!

  April 13, 2011 at 7:25

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks her legs might be falling off, (Not over-exaggerating AT ALL).

  April 15, 2011 at 20:23

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris would like to know who it was that dropped the bomb on her house.

  April 17, 2011 at 17:37

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking that it's only right to open the bar with a glass of red since she bought new wine glasses on the way home.

  April 19, 2011 at 18:51

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders if The Chubster will ever be full?!

  April 20, 2011 at 18:03

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris has gin, then Pimms, then wine, then curry, then chocolate, then wine, then gin, then bed.

  April 21, 2011 at 19:04

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is going to shoot the people who created the Lelli Kelly shoes advert.

  April 22, 2011 at 6:10

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering how many bottles of Nivea Firming Lotion it will take to firm her stomach up. She's also wondering if perhaps her "healthy" appetite is slowing down the process.

  April 22, 2011 at 19:05

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris wants to go back to sleep, however at 05:45 when she suggested to The Monster they cuddle in his bed his response was "No Mummy, it’s morning time. It's time to get up!" Oh.

  April 24, 2011 at 6:25

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wishing her little Chubster a happy half a year birthday, even if she's probably celebrating it with the pox x

  April 25, 2011 at 8:44

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris has decided that chocolate for dinner is the way forward.

  April 25, 2011 at 19:40

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris - today was sponsored by expensive foundation, Diet Coke and Tic tacs.

  April 27, 2011 at 19:09

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is super excited about "the" dress!

  April 29, 2011 at 7:04

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just told a sales call off for bothering her while she's watching The Royal Wedding.

  April 29, 2011 at 10:53

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is fed up of using the phrase “Stop making your sister hit herself”.

  May 1, 2011 at 7:03

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very happy to announce that the bar opened 4 minutes early. Good times.

  May 7, 2011 at 18:59

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris so hasn't just finished The Monster’s Peppa Pig Easter egg in a pre-serious training and diet binge.
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br />   May 8, 2011 at 20:22

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders why The Monster turns all Oliver Twist when reading Bear Hunt: ”It's a bbeewwtiful day, governor!"

  May 9, 2011 at 18:53

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris may have got home from work half an hour ago but has already had 2 glasses of wine and a G&T. Average times.

  May 12, 2011 at 20:25

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just splurged in Paperchase and it felt GOOD.

  May 13, 2011 at 14:07

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris has just had the full impact of a Weetabix sneeze.

  May 14, 2011 at 6:44

  16 people like this

  Dottie Harris is not appreciating the 'tude of a certain 2 year old.

  May 14, 2011 at 17:12

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris thinks the plan for "no wine on a school night" was a stupid idea.

  May 16, 2011 at 19:35

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very impressed - she STILL hasn't broken into her emergency KitKat Chunky!

  May 18, 2011 at 19:03

  8 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking that when she said she wanted to paint the hall "biscuit" she didn't mean using actual biscuits. Thanks kids.

  May 19, 2011 at 18:12

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris doesn’t want to have another discussion (tantrum) with The Monster about what T-shirt he is wearing today. THE GREEN ONE IS DIRTY, OK?

  May 20, 2011 at 7:40

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Note to self: Public toilets with a child? Don't go for the one facing the restaurant when the toddler can open the bloody door.

  May 21, 2011 at 14:02

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is already late for work and has a snotty, blotchy, tear stained two year old - free to any home.

  May 27, 2011 at 7:21

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking The Monster is right on the verge of being moved into the shed. She’s tempted to threaten it, but knows that she will suffer the repercussions of his spidahhh phobia. Next best thing? She moves into the shed.

  May 29, 2011 at 16:28

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris is wondering when boarding schools take children - 7 months?

  May 30, 2011 at 7:08

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris would like to thank the conjunctivitis fairy for visiting again. No, really. Thanks.

  May 31, 2011 at 18:49

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris isn't feeling the "power" today.

  June 2, 2011 at 17:29

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris has discovered her life is getting fed back to nursery via a small, opinionated, TRUTH STRETCHING child.

  June 2, 2011 at 20:14

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is perhaps too excited about using her new kitchen knives (on food, not her children).

  June 4, 2011 at 15:15

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris has opened the bar 10 minutes early. Perfect chance to do a couple of reviews of the new wine delivery!

  June 4, 2011 at 18:50

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris wishes that The Monster wouldn't insist that all of his toys "GO IN DA 'ALL COZ THEY BIN NORTY”. She would also rather not hear him them them to "STAY THERE FOR 3 MINITS TIL U CAN SAY SORRY" before slamming the door on them. Somehow, this may be an indication as to what the weekend has been like.

  June 5, 2011 at 19:30

  18 people like this

  Dottie Harris and The Chubster are snuggled in bed with milk/tea watching Peppa Pig. <3

  June 11, 2011 at 6:29

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is hoping not to be greeted at 6.30am with the cry of “Mmmuuuuummmmmayyy, I need a poooooh!" (again).

  June 14, 2011 at 21:18

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris - Oh good. The Chubster has learnt that if she screeches 3 times in a row the light show projector goes on. That's going in the bin then.

  June 18, 2011 at 6:42

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris has opened the bar late. As The Monster would say, she's “not 'appy”.

  June 18, 2011 at 19:47

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks you know it’s love when you’re lying next to your daughter and she throws up in your face.

  June 21, 2011 at 2:43

  11 people like this

  Dottie Harris is worried that there are only 2 bottles of Rosé in the garage.

  June 23, 2011 at 20:04

  1 person likes this

  Dottie Harris is browsing a sports shop - and enjoying it.

  June 25, 2011 at 9:14

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks The Chubster is a traitor saying DADA first. It's a stab in the heart.

  June 28, 2011 at 19:03

  6 people like this

  Dottie Harris is going on a Bear Hunt. Again.

  June 30, 2011 at 18:41

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is laughing that today, when The Monster "sprinkled" on his shorts while weeing on the grass, he insisted on hanging them on the line as they were "a bit wet now and need to dry off"

  July 4, 2011 at 19:04

  12 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks cake would be perfection.

  July 5, 2011 at 12:41

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks it must be nearly wine o'clock by now?

  July 8, 2011 at 7:34

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris wonders why her children insist on team building and working together to prevent her from sleeping.

  July 9, 2011 at 6:35

  7 people like this

  Dottie Harris has a feeling The Monster will be falling asleep on the landing again tonight.

  July 10, 2011 at 18:28

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris is thinking about calling the hall "The Monster’s room" since he spends so much time in it. Note to self: Keep nappies and wipes in kitchen so not to be trapped by naughty toddler with stinky baby.

  July 11, 2011 at 7:43

  5 people like this

  Dottie Harris is regretting getting the paints out.

  July 11, 2011 at 9:57

  3 people like this

  Dottie Harris would like to apologise to everyone in a 3 mile radius for the noise. She wasn’t killing her son, just asking him to get dressed.

  July 11, 2011 at 8:01

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris is very happy now that her bumper pack of Diet Coke has arrived.

  July 13, 2011 at 14:43

  4 people like this

  Dottie Harris thinks everything is forgiven when you hear "muma" for the first time, even if it is at 4.23am.

  July 15, 2011 at 6:51

  27 people like this

  Dottie Harris has sent her husband out to buy an emergency bottle of gin and some limes.

  July 15, 2011 at 18:32

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is bored of the word “muma” now.

  July 17, 2011 at 6:59

  2 people like this

  Dottie Harris is a calm, serene mummy. Nothing can phase, upset or bother her.

  Except her children.

  July 17, 2011 at 16:55

  9 people like this

  Dottie Harris is officially self-employed. What have I done?!